slow it down

Exciting news! I went to sleep last night without the help of pills!
Now, for the rest of you this news may not be very exciting, but if you were me, and had not be able to sleep for the last year without pain medication or Ambien, you would be very excited... You might even write it in your blog. I have be doing more intensive physical therapy for the last month or so, and every time I go, I feel a little bit stronger. The end is near, and I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
    And now the real reason for this post. I think that as a media connected generation we have been lulled into a false sense of security. We have been led to believe that the world is at our fingertips. Joy, Excitement, and happiness are a mouse click away. Life is one big adventure, all we have to do is live it! I've been watching a lot of netflix lately... Okay, I'll be honest... I've watching GLEE... don't judge me. This may be a bad example, but the message portrayed on Glee is that you can do anything you want, your dreams aren't going to wait, so you have to get out there and do them now. While that is a nice sentiment...it makes me feel bad about myself, and makes me wonder what I'm doing living at home with my parents when I can be on a street corner singing show tunes, or in New York starring in my own one woman show "Look out world, She's coming!"... It's a working title.
The fact is, I think that I know what I want to do with my life, but my plan isn't moving along as fast as I would have hoped. If I had it my way, I would be almost done with my first year of grad school in a profession, I'm not sure I want to do. If we go back to the plan "high school me" had for my life, I would be married with a couple of kids by now...She was a nice kid, but a little naive :)
In reality: I'm 27, I live with my Parents, I have a bachelors degree in Psychology, and I haven't done a thing with it, and I'm no closer to being married than I was just after high school.
But here's the kicker... For the most part, for now, I am happy. I had some things that I needed to deal with. My shoulder pain, my depression, and my crippling fear of the unknown that is my future; and there is no way that I would have been able to do that if I was in grad school, or in a place where I wasn't so close to my supportive family. I do miss being around my friends and closer to people my own age, but sometimes... you just need your mommy.
The thing that Glee, and "high school me" failed to see, is that sometimes, you need to slow it down. I would not trade the last 9 months for anything in the world. I have been able to see my niece go from an infant to a sassy, rampaging toddler. The relationship I have with my mom now is stronger than it has ever been. We can sit and gab like old pals, and before it was just a quick convo about the important stuff.
   I will move on, I will go to grad school(I think I even know now what I want to be when I grow up) I will have adventures, be around people my own age, I will even get married and have children, and my high school self will be giddy with schoolgirl joy. but for now, I will be grateful for this short time I have to be with my family, and the strength they give me to live life. That will be the strength I use to face the world, however far I travel. Life will go fast, and adventures will fade... But I will always have this time.