When I was a child I used to worry about a death. I would worry so much that I would have panic attacks and run to my mom crying, and asking her what I should do. Being the wise woman that my mom is, she would tell me that I shouldn't worry about things that I had no control over, and then she would tell me to watch a funny movie to get my mind off of whatever I was worrying about.
I have cried at least once a day since Friday. I have never been more saddened by an event than I have by the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting; and no amount of funny movies have been able to get my mind off of it. Even though this is one of those things that I have no control over, I can't help but think about the pain and anguish that the town of Newtown Connecticut is experiencing right now.
I think that when something like this happens, we examine our lives, at least I do. I think about how selfish I am, like how I've been thinking about how much I dislike Christmas, and how my life isn't going exactly how I planned, and how at this point in my life I thought that I would be married, maybe have 1 or 2 kiddos waddling around. there are 20 kids who were killed at the most innocent stage of their lives. they don't get to open their Christmas presents waiting under the tree. they don't get to learn how to drive a car, experience high school or college, or have a family of their own. There are 6 women, who left children, husbands, parents, and friends. they were in the career they loved, and they risked their lives, so that their students would have the opportunity to live and experience the things they already had.
The only thing I'm worrying about right now is how I can make sure that the deaths of these 26 people won't be in vain. What can I do to be a better person and make a contribution in the world. I'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I'm not worried, about the things that seem so small and insignificant right now.
I take comfort in the fact that I know that God lives, and that on Friday he welcomed home some of his children and took them his arms. I know without a doubt that his angels are watching over the families, of these beautiful people, and that he sent them feelings of comfort and peace.
I hope that this event will make us all reexamine our lives, and think about the things and the people in our lives that are important to us. I hope that this won't be one of those things that we forget after a month and go back to the way things were. Let us tell our friends and family what they mean to us, and help our neighbor a little more. let us be patient with the cashier when we've had a bad day. I hope that we might all be a little bit more observant and find little ways that we can help strangers we come in contact with; let us look outside ourselves, and find ways to make the world a better place to live, not only for us, but for the generations that will inhabit this world when we are gone.
This is my prayer, and my plan of how to honor those who had their lives taken from them much too early.
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