wishin' and hopin'

I've been thinking a lot lately about dating, and the beginning of relationships. How they start, what sparks the match, and what makes two people decide that they're a "couple". But more specifically I've been thinking about the first few encounters, that turns a pile of tinder into a smoking almost beginning of a fire. There has always been a lot of rules, and games attached to dating, that I'm not amazed that many people my age adopt Nancy Reagans' slogan and "just say no". There's not so much dating going on, as there is "hanging out", or "making out". Both fine things, but whatever happened to the thrill of the chase? A guy asking a girl "out" and actually going OUTDOORS not just "out" in the proverbial sense? I honestly don't know the reason, but I know that I don't like it. I have only been asked "out" in the real sense, twice in my life, and frankly I'm getting to the age where I don't want to wait around to get asked out; so I might as well start asking. According to the rule book however, this is taboo. Girls shouldn't make the first move, a guy should be the one to ask for a girls' number or ask her out, but I think I might be a skeleton if I wait that long. My point is forthcoming, but first a story.
We've all seen chick flicks, where they make some great and bold declaration of love. whether it be standing below someone's window with a boom box overhead, or building them house, or toting your love fern on the back of a motorcycle to chase your cab down the road; whatever it be, Most of us think, "why can't that happen to me?" But then We walk out of the dark movie theater, shake our head a couple of times, and realize that those types of things don't happen in real life. While I agree that someone will probably never strap shrubbery on the back of a bike and chase me down, and build my dream house, I think that the idea behind it is realistic. I have this life, right now to make things happen. Hell, I probably only have the next 5 years until my daring bone shrivels up and dies. That cute guy at the Coffee shop isn't going to know you like him until you open your mouth. that guy at the new year's eve party I chatted with has know idea that I was about to give him my number; and who suffers because of it? ME! I've regretted ever since that I didn't give him my number. And even if he would have never used it, I would have known that I opened my mouth and told him I was interested.
Dating is hard enough without all the cultural rules, and taboos. Throw away the rule book, and put away the games. It's time to "say what you want to say, and let the words fall out. -Sara Bareilles" Give some one your number, send that text you've been dying to send, Say hello.
Sometimes, that direct yet subtle move, is what will turn that pile of sticks into a raging fire.