VInnie the boo

Do you ever just get so overwhelmed with feelings of love or joy, that in that moment you can't imagine life with that someone that produces those feelings of joy or love within you? I had that feeling tonight as my dog was laying in my lap and looking up at me with his big black eyes. I know that you all probably think I'm crazy, because I'm talking this way about a dog; but let me tell you about how he came into my life.
Last year, was the worst year of my life. I was working 40 hours a week, I was in the last semester of my undergrad, and I was also in a horribly deep depression. Without delving to deep into my personal life, let me just tell you that I had never felt so hopeless, and lost in my whole life. I was trying different medications, but nothing was helping, and the side effects were just making everything worse.
I had heard that having a pet was helpful in the treatment of depression. There's not a whole lot of research out on the subject, but there have been studies that have shown, that people who own dogs live longer healthier lives.(don't quote me, I could be wrong.)
Everyday for a month I Looked at dogs on the internet. We weren't allowed to have pets where I lived, so I was basically just torturing myself. I started going to the disability resource center on campus because I didn't no where to go, but I knew that I needed help. I started meeting with a man named David. He told me about places I could go to on campus that offered counseling. He also told me about emotional support animals. an emotional support animal is not a service dog that you see from time to time with the little blue vests on. although there are service dogs that are trained to help those with chronic depression; they can find your keys, wake you up if you stay in bed too long...but I digress. An emotional support animal is just that. they are a companion, they are that light in the darkness that you other wise wouldn't have. It's in the name, they provide emotional support. They don't require any training, but they do have certain rights under the rehabilitation act. If you live in a place where animals are not allowed, the owner must make an exception for emotional support animals, if you can prove in a letter written by a physician or mental health counselor that this animal improves your quality of life, that could not be improved without this animal. I had found a glimmer of hope. I threw myself into doing research on emotional support animals and whether I would even qualify. In the meantime I was still torturing myself, looking at dogs, for sale or adoption. One day I came across an ad for a free dog; his name was Vincent, a 7 year old, salt and pepper schnauzer... I fell in love. I had found what I was looking for. I immediately contacted the owner and let her know  that I was interested. She told me that Vincent had been abandoned by his previous owners, and that she had rescued him, but because she was moving to a place that didn't allow dogs, she had to get rid of him.
To make a long story short, a lot of things came into place, and I was allowed to adopt Vincent. He is my best friend. He barks A LOT, and sometimes jumps on me when I am sleeping, but I would not trade him for anything in the world. When I adopted Vincent I had something else to live for. I didn't just have myself to worry about anymore. I'm not going to tell you that I was cured and I was never depressed again, but I was so glad that I had another living being to focus on. whenever I got panic attacks, Vincent was there to let me pet him, or he would simply lay his head on my chest. He was the answer to my prayers. I don't know what would have happened had he not come into my life. Every day I am so grateful for him, and I can't imagine the thought of being without him. He brings me so much joy, and asks for nothing in return except that I pet him more.

Let us honor the victims

When I was a child I used to worry about a death. I would worry so much that I would have panic attacks and run to my mom crying, and asking her what I should do. Being the wise woman that my mom is, she would tell me that I shouldn't worry about things that I had no control over, and then she would tell me to watch a funny movie to get my mind off of whatever I was worrying about.

    I have cried at least once a day since Friday. I have never been more saddened by an event than I have by the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting; and no amount of funny movies have been able to get my mind off of it. Even though this is one of those things that I have no control over, I can't help but think about the pain and anguish that the town of Newtown Connecticut is experiencing right now.
 I think that when something like this happens, we examine our lives, at least I do. I think about how selfish I am, like how I've been thinking about how much I dislike Christmas, and how my life isn't going exactly how I planned, and how at this point in my life I thought that I would be married, maybe have 1 or 2 kiddos waddling around. there are 20 kids who were killed at the most innocent stage of their lives. they don't get to open their Christmas presents waiting under the tree. they don't get to learn how to drive a car, experience high school or college, or have a family of their own. There are 6 women, who left children, husbands, parents, and friends. they were in the career they loved, and they risked their lives, so that their students would have the opportunity to live and experience the things they already had.

      The only thing I'm worrying about right now is how I can make sure that the deaths of these 26 people won't be in vain. What can I do to be a better person and make a contribution in the world. I'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I'm not worried, about the things that seem so small and insignificant right now.

   I take comfort in the fact that I know that God lives, and that on Friday he welcomed home some of his children and took them his arms. I know without a doubt that his angels are watching over the families, of these beautiful people, and that he sent them feelings of comfort and peace.

   I hope that this event will make us all reexamine our lives, and think about the things and the people in our lives that are important to us. I hope that this won't be one of those things that we forget after a month and go back to the way things were. Let us tell our friends and family what they mean to us, and help our neighbor a little more. let us be patient with the cashier when we've had a bad day. I hope that we might all be a little bit more observant and find little ways that we can help strangers we come in contact with; let us look outside ourselves, and find ways to make the world a better place to live, not only for us, but for the generations that will inhabit this world when we are gone.

 This is my prayer, and my plan of how to honor those who had their lives taken from them much too early.