Limbo...and not the kind with the stick

Great News! I can sleep! YAY! it's a friggin' miracle and i don't know how it happened, but for the past week and a half I have been going to bed around 10:30 and sleeping until 8. It's Amazing. I haven't been able to sleep like that since before my first surgery in April. It could have something to do with the fact that I am working in a butcher shop and have to be on my feet for 8 hours a day, but I'm not going to tempt the fates with questions... It is what it is.
 So why may you ask am I awake right now? because my brain is going at warp speed and if I don't get my thoughts out in some medium, then I will have weird dreams and restless sleep...and no one wants that.
Since 2005 my life has been a whirlwind of awesomeness. I started school, that summer I went to work at Camp Coca Cola in Eureka Missouri, 2 weeks after that ended I was back at school, 1 month after school ended I was back at Camp, a month and a half after camp, I went on a mission for a year and a half. 1 month after my mission, it was back to good ole Missouri, 3 weeks after that I went to Utah State Where I worked full time, played rugby, went to school full time, helped with research, mentored peers in the counseling center, helped plan outreach events, and attended a slew of meetings. I graduated, moved away from Logan and went back to camp this last summer... and now? I live with my parents...
for the past 7 years I have been GO GO GO and for the first time in that long I am dormant. I feel like I am in Limbo. I see the light, but for whatever reason I can't go towards it. in my case, the light is graduate school, living in different cities, being around friends. And my limbo you might ask? A tear in a part of the shoulder called the Labrum. This is only part of Limbo, but consequently the biggest part. I chose to move back home, so that I could regroup, figure out my next move, apply for grad schools, so that, come fall of 2013, I'm gone, back to the tornado that is life, and grad school. But because of my little labral friend, plans are being rethought. I found out yesterday that my surgery will be on Halloween! WOO HOO! I am excited to get my noodly appendage back. I can't wait to be able to lift weights, horse play, and all the other good stuff you can do without worry of something popping or hurting.
So it looks like Grad school is on hold until 2014, that is if I can decide what I want to do. I also would like to live in a different city while I'm figuring it all out. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in on a really cool party that all my friends are having a blast at, and I'm just outside freezing my butt off. I love this precious time that I get with my family and the opportunity I have to see my niece get older, but things can only last for so long, and then its time to move on to the next stage. in this case, the next stage is living closer to friends, and other people in my general age range.
But for now I shall find Joy in limbo, and focus on nursing noodle arm back to health. I'll find meaning in the present, and look towards the future with hope.
And for now I shall join the ranks of the well rested, so I shall end this post with simply
Keep it classy

The Muse is Mute

Is it only me, or does it seem like there has to be some Major life events for inspiration to come? A break-up, marriage, the birth of child, death of a family member, traumatic life circumstances. It's no surprise to me that some of the greatest poets, artists, and musicians have lived pretty crappy lives, but have found inspiration through these events to write books, poetry, and symphonies. in my first my 23 years of life I probably wrote a total of 10 poems, if that. In the last 4 months, I have written over 25 poems, and that's just the finished ones. I have a lot that have been started.
My point is this; My life hasn't been a cake walk for the last year and a half, I would compare it more to a cake walk where the cakes are made out of broken glass and I have to walk on them without shoes; But I have been able to process these experiences through writing, and poetry... But now, I've got nothin'. Bupkiss. Goose eggs. My life isn't by any means perfect, but it's a lot better than it has been in awhile. The problem is, I have nothing to write about, no inspiration comes to mind. I can throw a rhyme together as good as the next incredibly word minded person, but it used to be that I could just start typing and words would cascaded onto the screen, but now I just stare at an empty word document.
I just got a job working a few hours at a butcher shop, but that doesn't exactly inspire the next great American poem. Not many things rhyme with Goat hamburger, or Elk jerky. I guess the next step to finding inspiration would be, falling in love, because I'm sure not going to wish for any tragic happenings, I know better than to tempt the fates. They've screwed with me enough for awhile. Maybe I need to see a baby animal be born, or witness a marriage, or get my heart broken and cut off my ear....wait... that would be art...not my forte
Well, I guess I will continue to ponder on how to get my groove back, maybe I will ask Stella how she did it...Until then,
Stay classy, my well rested friends

                                                               

Inspiration’s Vacation

Where’s the inspiration gone, and why isn’t coming back?

Why did it take the first train out on the one-way track?

I wish I were an engineer to turn the train around

I wish my muse would return

And fill my soul with something profound

To think about,

 To write about,

 To speak a meaningful word

But all that comes out when I open my mouth,

 is what has already been heard

The originality is missing,

The creativity is gone

The sun set on new ideas

Nothing rising with the dawn